Esperanza feels as if she is trapped in a world that [she] can’t take. She doesn’t feel like she belongs on Mango Street and that she is being restricted by her life of poverty and her struggling identity. She feels alone and she hopes [she’s] not the only one who feels this way. I just wish I could disappear/ Someone take me far away from here/ Do you suppose there’s more to life out there? Esperanza wants to leave Mango Street. She feels as if she can make something of herself. She doesn’t want to grow up like her mother or the other girls in the community. Her plans are to exceed all of the gender expectations and be an individual. There’s no happiness surrounding me/ Hate and ugliness is all I see. Having grown up in a poor community, Esperanza has had to overcome her struggles by herself. She has lost her innocence in the monkey garden, been humiliated at school and in the canteen, and she has been violated. Her life definitely hasn’t been easy. I want to leave it all behind/ I’m running out of time. Esperanza has chosen to put everything behind her, but she is never be able to forget the memories she has made on Mango Street. Whether she likes it or not, her house on Mango Street has shaped her identity. She wants to leave the house before she runs out of time. She wants to still be able to do things away from Mango Street, before her childhood is completely over. And I don’t wanna be blind/ I wanna open my mind/ I wanna know if there’s a purpose to this life. By choosing to rise above the expectations that have been placed upon her, Esperanza wants to leave Mango Street with an open mind. When she gets a house of her own she will open it up to bums on the street, for she knows what it’s like to be poor. She doesn’t want to become too preoccupied with materialistic objects, but rather find herself. She wants to find her sole purpose in this life. She will never forget the memories she made living on Mango Street, good or bad. She will use these memories in her future to help others and see the world from different perspectives. But until then she will continue to trapped in a world that [she] can’t take.

Song: Disappear by The Summer Obsession

Lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/disappear_lyrics_summer_obsession_the.html

I picked this picture because it connects to Esperanza’s identity and her plans for the future. In the photo the guy is alone, thinking, and sitting above a big city full of opportunity. The guy in the picture looks as if he has aspirations for the future and big plans to move away from where he is living now and to go to a place where he can prosper. He is alone, away from friends and other people because, just like Esperanza, he stands out and dares to be different. He is thinking about who he is and what he could be. I believe that this connects to the thematic motif of identity because the boy seems to be searching for his his own personal identity and longs to go away somewhere. Esperanza also wants to leave, she wants to move away from her house on Mango Street and start her life off somewhere new. She ends up leaving her house with only her pen and paper because of her dreams to become a writer. The city in the picture connects with Esperanza’s writing because they both resemble signs of hope, success and freedom. Part of Esperanza’s identity was shaped by her writing and throughout her life she couldn’t wait until the day that she could leave Mango Street. She thought for hours about herself and who she would become and finally she was able to leave her house on Mango Street. Therefore, the picture connects to Sandra Cisneros thematic motif of identity because it resembles Esperanza’s own aspirations for a future of success away from her poverty ridden childhood and both the boy and Esperanza struggled to find who they were and who they wanted to become.

Picture: Photographer – unknown. Posted on Afranko’s Blog on February 12, 2014 by nagy.

Link: http://www.afranko.org/2014/02/boys-alone-images/

Esperanza, that is who I wish I was

Esperanza, the one who refused to grow up

Esperanza, the one who I had abandoned

Now as we are older, she has gone away

Whereas I have stayed

She has flourished

Whereas I have diminished

Now with three kids I sit at home alone

For my husband has left

I try my best, but it’s not enough

I was not strong enough to escape Mango

She has kept me here forever

At home I sit alone

He didn’t even leave a letter

I heard Esperanza is a writer

Living out her dream in another place

away from Mango, away from people like us, away from her race

One day I will escape

I’ll take my children with me and make a new life

But for now I must stay

And live out my days

Esperanza, the one I made fun of

Esperanza, the one no one understood

Esperanza, the one who truly won

Dear Esperanza,

I’m sorry that my friends and I upset you today at the monkey garden with Sally. I didn’t want to kiss Sally, but all other guys said that I had to. I guess what I was really trying to do was to make you jealous, but now I see that instead I just disgusted you. I too want to run and play throughout the monkey garden, but unlike you, I don’t have the courage to stand up to my friends. They all said that I was too old for games like that and they were making fun of you for wanting to play with the younger kids. I wish that I would’ve just gotten up and went with you. I haven’t seen you around the monkey garden in quite some time now. Where’d you go? Do you no longer want to hang out with us? If I had known that you would’ve gotten so upset then I would never have kissed Sally. I wish that it could’ve been you that I kissed. I guess I’ve already blown my chances with you, but I desperately hope that we can continue to be friends. I’m sorry that my friends and I told you to leave the monkey garden. I just didn’t want you to see how ashamed I was. I’ve never met someone like you Esperanza, someone who doesn’t care what everyone else thinks, someone who dares to stand out. Why is that Esperanza? Are you unhappy about your life? I always see you writing, but I have no clue about what you’re writing about. I highly admire you, and I wish that one day I could muster up the courage to show you this letter.

Your’s truly, Tito.

In the novel, The House on Mango Street, Sandra Cisneros uses the “Monkey Garden” as a symbol to represent Esperanza’s growth into the adolescent stages of her life in the vignette, “The Monkey Garden.”

Using the monkey garden, Cisneros creates an allusion that connects this garden to the Garden of Eden. Esperanza even states that, “Somebody started the lie that the monkey garden had been there before anything” (Cisneros 96). The children used this garden as an oasis away from their parents and their responsibilities; however, eventually things went wrong. Just like Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, the monkey garden is used to symbolized Esperanza’s loss of innocence and introduce her growth into her adolescent years. Suddenly, Esperanza was too old to play and run around with the younger children. Her friends that were her age preferred to hang out by themselves and do more mature things, including her friend, Sally. “I said, Sally, come on, but she wouldn’t. She stayed by the curb talking to Tito and his friends. Play with the kids if you want, she said. I’m staying here” (96). Sally and her other friends were to old to run around and play with the kids, but Esperanza, on the other hand, was too innocent to understand her friends intentions. “I wanted to go back with the other kids who were still jumping on cars, still chasing each other through the garden, but Sally had her own game” (96). This represents how manipulative Sally is, which puts an uneasy image in Esperanza’s mind. When the boys took Sally’s keys away Esperanza couldn’t understand why Sally kept pretending to be mad, and she was disgusted by the boy’s attitude towards the game. “One of the boys invented the rules. One of Tito’s friends said that you can’t get the keys back unless you kiss us and Sally pretended to be mad at first but she said yes” (96). This infuriated Esperanza and she couldn’t understand why Sally wasn’t defending herself against this game where the boys would always win. Esperanza knew that this wasn’t right. It was as if the snake from the Garden of Eden himself had come up and convinced Sally to go into the garden with Tito’s buddies. Here, the monkey garden has been transformed from the Eden-esque oasis to place for experimenting with the opposite sex, serving as a symbol that will change the way Esperanza thinks.

In an effort to save her friend she went back into the monkey garden and took with her, “three big sticks and a brick and figured this was enough” (97). As Esperanza went into the garden equipped with these items Sally told her to just go home and the boys said to leave them alone. They didn’t want Esperanza interrupting their “game.” “They all looked at me as if I was the one who was crazy and made me feel ashamed” (97). Esperanza couldn’t believe what Sally and the boys were doing. She knew that it wasn’t right, but when she tried to interfere and help Sally she was ridiculed and told to leave. They made Esperanza feel as if she was the one who wasn’t doing what she was supposed to. When Sally went behind the old blue pickup with those boys it was as if she took a bite from the forbidden fruit, turning the monkey garden, in Esperanza’s eyes, into a cruel place. Esperanza ran away from Sally and the boys and went to the other end of the garden. Esperanza wanted to, “will [her] blood to stop, [her] heart to quit its pumping. [She] wanted to be dead” (97). All of Esperanza’s innocence had just been stripped, she no longer knew right from wrong, and no longer was the monkey garden an enjoyable place for her. She felt lost within her own world. “I looked at my feet in their white socks and ugly round shoes. They seemed far away. They didn’t seem to be my feet anymore. And the garden that had been such a good place to play didn’t seem like mine either” (98). The way Esperanza thought about herself and the monkey garden had completely changed. With this loss of innocence she doesn’t know what to do with herself or the monkey garden.

Therefore, Cisneros uses the monkey garden as a symbol to symbolize Esperanza’s loss of innocence. Just as Adam and Eve didn’t feel as if they belonged in the Garden of Eden, Esperanza no longer believed that she belonged in the monkey garden. Esperanza’s growth throughout this vignette represents her struggle into her teenage years and the hardships that come with it.

Sandra Cisneros’s novel, The House on Mango Street, is the story of a young girl, Esperanza, who must overcome the challenges set forth by her location, gender, and by herself. Throughout the novel, Cisneros highlights Esperanza’s bittersweet memories of her experience living on Mango Street through the continuous thematic motif of identity.

One of the many conflicts Esperanza has with her identity is centered around her location and her environment. Esperanza’s realization of her family’s poverty happened at a young age when a nun asked her, “You live there? There. I had to look to where she pointed…You live there? The way she said it made me feel like nothing. There. I lived there” (Cisneros 5). This realization of her family’s poverty made her question everything she had ever known. She grew into this life of poverty and now anything that she could’ve possibly been proud of was treated as insignificant and worthless. This was a turning point in Esperanza’s identity because it ignited her desire to move into an actual house – a house she could be proud of. Although, when Esperanza and her family moved to the house on Mango Street it was the complete opposite of what her family had envisioned. Esperanza described her yard as having four skinny trees. “[The trees] are the only ones who understands me. I am the only one who understands them. Four skinny trees with skinny necks and pointy elbows like mine. Four who do not belong here but are here” (74). Esperanza’s personification of the trees represent how she really feels about herself and they express her loneliness. These trees were planted by the city without their consent – just like her. Neither her nor the trees can leave for they are “skinny” and do not have the power to do so, and Esperanza believes that she is the only one who feels this way, leaving her all alone. Esperanza feels as if she doesn’t belong on Mango Street and her residence here is just as unnatural as the layout of these city planted trees. Therefore, through location and environment Cisneros uses the thematic motif of identity to represents Esperanza’s desire for a new house where she can escape her thoughts of isolation and insignificance.

Similarly, where Esperanza has problems with her identity due to location, she also has problems with her self definition. She states, “I would like to be baptize myself under a new name, a name more like the real me, the one nobody sees. Esperanza as Lisandra, or Maritza, or ZeZe the X. Yes, ZeZe the X will do” (11). Esperanza doesn’t see herself as a boring “Esperanza,” she sees herself as someone who is more adventurous and exciting. She wants to be called something mysterious and unknown, which is represented by the “X.” This suggests that there is a part of her that the reader, and especially her family, doesn’t know. This represents her hidden identity and her true thoughts about her own life. We also see a new part into Esperanza’s identity when she reads her own original poem to her Aunt Lupe, “I want to be/ like the waves on the sea/ like the clouds in the wind/ but I’m me/ One day I’ll jump/ out of my skin/ I’ll shake the sky/ like a hundred violins” (60-61). By Esperanza writing this poem herself, the reader gains some insight into how she really feels about herself and how her identity is being trapped by her restricted life. Inside Esperanza is a much different person than what everyone sees on the outside, an ambitious teenage girl locked in a life a poverty and a confusing cycle of identity. She waits anxiously for the day that she will be set free so that she can reach the full limits of her trapped potential. Thus, Cisneros uses Esperanza’s own struggles with identity to continue her thematic motif and dive deeper into Esperanza’s true self.

Likewise, Cisneros continues the thematic motif of identity by using Esperanza’s gender and future plans to complete the readers understanding of her identity. To illustrate, Esperanza states, “My mother says when I get older my dusty hair will settle and my blouse will learn to stay clean, but I have decided not to grow up tame like the others who lay their necks on the threshold waiting for the ball and chain” (88). Esperanza doesn’t want to end up like her mother, married with a bunch of children, always doing the household chores, and living in regret of what her life could’ve been. She refuses to conform to the gender expectations that society has placed upon her. She wants to make something of her life and overcome these restrictions of gender. Therefore, Esperanza plans to not grow up like the others and instead believes that, “One day I will pack my bags of books and paper. One day I will say goodbye to Mango. I am too strong for her to keep me here forever” (110). At this point in Cisneros’s novel, the reader begins to see how Esperanza’s writing has affected her identity. It has made her stronger as a young adult and has given her an opportunity for success in her future. She has bigger plans, to become a writer. Esperanza knows that she is going places and she will make something of herself. She won’t make the same mistakes her mother made, and she will rise above the expectations that have been placed on her to start her life away from Mango Street.

Thus, Cisneros’s use of identity as a thematic motif enables the reader to learn about the real Esperanza and the struggles she was to overcome. Throughout the novel the reader is able to see Esperanza’s growth throughout her location, gender, and ultimately herself as she embarks upon her journey for her own personal identity.

Rachel’s birthday party was the topic of everyone’s conversation in Mrs. Johnson’s first grade classroom. Everyone was invited and everyone was excited, except for me. Rachel said that her party was going to be a swim party with massive Slip ‘N Slides, sprinklers all over the yard, and that there was going to be the first annual cannon ball jumping contest from Rachel’s brand new hot pink diving board that her daddy bought her. Although, the more and more she talked about her party the more I got upset about having to miss easily the best party of my childhood.

What type of swimsuit are you getting, Lauren? Whispered Blaire from the other side of the room.

My swimsuit is as blue as the ocean with beautiful little pink circles and I will wear a matching pink bow that my mom made me, responded Lauren.

All I could do is sit in my worn hammy down clothes and listen to everyone talk about their brand new swimsuits. Brand new, free of stains, unrecognizable smells, and assorted holes. I’ve never had something brand new. I almost did but then Lisa had to get braces, Jake broke his arm and we don’t have insurance, and then on top of all of that my family had to help pay for Sami’s college tuition. My life is a pair of hammy down clothes. Being the youngest I’m always affected by the problems of others. I am the one with stains, weird smells, and holes, and now I can’t even go to Rachel’s party because of the rest of my family’s expenses.

What will your swimsuit look like Jamie? Blaire asked.

Snapping out of my pity party I responded, I can’t go to the party. My family will be out of town.

I didn’t want to lie but I had too. I was too afraid to tell her that my family couldn’t afford to buy me a swimsuit and there was no way I would show up to that party in my normal clothes. If I did then my entire first grade would be ruined, I would be a laughing stock, and my whole reputation would turn to rubble. Disappointed and ashamed, I sulked back home in my worn, dingy, second hand shoes that rubbed the part of my feet that was exposed from the holes in my used to be white socks.

Mom, can you please buy me a swimsuit for Rachel’s party? I pleaded.

No, Jamie, we’ve been through this, we don’t have the money for a new swimsuit. Can’t you wear some of your older clothes?

No mom! Everyone else will be wearing a brand new colorful swimsuit and I would be the only one in normal clothes!

Frustrated I stormed out the door and outside I happened to notice a garage sale in my neighbor’s yard. And that was when I saw it. A perfectly pink one piece swimsuit just sitting on the table with nobody watching it. The swimsuit gleamed in the sunlight begging for me to take it. It had perfect white polka-dots that were splattered against the pink and the bottom was a frilly pink ruffled skirt. I had never seen something so flawless. I sneaked up to the table and snatched my first brand new swimsuit.

Hey, you! Come back! Shouted my neighbor.

She quickly got me and I was in tears, why did I steal this? I explained my situation in between wailing sobs.

Alright, alright calm down, explained my neighbor. I will let you have this swimsuit but you’re gonna have to pay for it by helping me around the house. Understand?

I smiled with a big toothy grin and a tear streaked face, hugged her, and ran back home.

I was having the time of my life at Rachel’s party, sprinting over sprinklers, splashing, and sliding. I felt as if I was an aquatic princess in my brand new swimsuit and I had never felt so proud of what I was wearing. My perfect one piece swimsuit offered me the ideal Slip ‘N Slide surface and I even won the first annual cannon ball jumping contest! Although despite my cannon ball expertise I couldn’t leave that Slip ‘N Slide. It was the best thing I had ever been on, it craved my presence, it’s allure was so strong I acted as if it had mesmerized me. I slipped on that slide as if my life depended on it and only until my mom dragged my stubborn self away did we finally leave. On the way home I fell asleep with a smile on my face, exhausted legs, wet hair, and my very first party experience underneath my belt with my pretty, perfectly pink swimsuit.

My best friend is Kristen Moyers. She has brown eyes, medium length blonde hair, and she is just the slightest bit taller than me. We run cross country together, sit next to each other every day in band, and have countless amounts of unforgettable memories. She is my go-to person when I need to vent my frustrations and she is easily one of the most loyal friends I’ve ever had. Together we like to ride our Penny skateboards around the park, play video games, and explore the many shelfs of Books-A-Million. Although, while Kristen is my best friend, she is definitely not my longest friend. Our friendship started when I was in the seventh grade and she was in the eight. We ended up being in the same band together and with the both of us being trumpet players we sat next to each other, just like we do now. Through that year of middle school band we bonded over similar interest in books, movies, and our distinctive quirks. When we reunited in high school band we started right back off from where we left off and I even convinced her to join the cross-country team. After that we became best friends and hung out with each other every day at band rehearsal and cross-country practice. Some people believe that Kristen and I are completely alike; however, they couldn’t be father from the truth. Kristen and I only have similar interest in a small range of things, other than that we are totally different, and that’s what I think makes our friendship so strong. We use our differences as foils to each other which gives us different perspectives and outlooks on a wide array of things, making our friendship even stronger, and that is why Kristen Moyers is my best friend.

My family has always enjoyed being around each other, especially when we would all meet up at my granny’s old house on Lake Cherokee. When I was kid this was always my favorite place to go because I got to spend time with my cousin, Wyatt, who at that time was probably my best friend. We did everything together and my granny’s house was the place all of our memories and experiences were shared. Looking back I remember the living room as being a special place to Wyatt and I. Once we were staying the night with my grandparents and we were trying to attach his Nintendo GameCube to my grandparents living room television. Our plan was to slide the monstrosity of a television box slightly off the wooden stand it was on so that we could connect the cords to the back of the T.V. Although in the process of doing that the T.V fell off the stand and plummeted to the ground where it shattered and broke the GameCube. After that fiasco Wyatt and I were to only play in the “play room.” We did everything in that play room from watching all of the “Land Before Time” movies, playing Pokemon, constructing our own comic books, and building our own structures out of wooden blocks. The things that we made out of the wooden blocks were extra special because after careful planning our masterpieces were displayed on the very prestigious laundry room shelf. As little kids seeing what we had created portrayed to our entire family meant so much to us, even if it was just different blocks glued together. After Wyatt and I had made our block village we decided to take on another challenge – building our own Squidward puppet. We had just finished watching the new Spongebob episode where it featured the Squidward puppet and we were inspired to replicate it. The both of us spent the entire day with tape, paper, and blue crayons, and after a few hours, voila! Our puppet was completed. Excited, we gathered the entire family into the dining area to present our puppet show. We dimmed the overhead lights, set up a spotlight, and performed in front of the entire family with jokes and a script that we had constructed ourselves. The show was great and we were so pleased with the outcome and the applause of our audience. Looking back that house fostered some of my greatest memories with my family, and my dearest cousin, Wyatt.